Saturday, April 25, 2009

More Book Blurbs Available

Here are some book blurbs I am making available. Also, the previous batches of blurbs I posted are still available. I had them for sale before, but If you want a blurb, just take it, use it, it's free. Donations are certainly welcome, especially since work is slow so I need to start making some money. In any case, feel free to customize (tweak, remix, etc) any blurb to include the author's name and/or the title of the book, whatever. So, in about six months, I'm going to begin assuming that every book blurb I see is really one of mine, tweaked, remixed, and attributed to someone else. Thanks and enjoy.

“I haven’t seen such daring since my grandmother left the house without her Depends.”

“Dazzling, crackling, stunning—you’ll probably be incapacitated by the time you’re done with this one. The world will soon be literally deaf, dumb, and blind, too.”

“Seriously, the hype has been so big that I can’t even bring myself to read the book. I just sit and watch the book lay on the desk and I get gooseflesh. Don’t miss out of this masterpiece, a marketing marvel . . . just flip the pages, move it from the bookshelf to the coffee table to your study, just look at the book and think about how great it is . . . buy this book immediately, I guarantee you won’t be disappointed—and you don’t even have to read it!”

"This book will change your life and probably the lives of your family, friends, and even the random people you meet, just from having met you; all because you bought and read this book. If you thought Jesus and 9/11 changed things, you obviously haven't read this yet. And just imagine what you are depriving so many people of if you don't buy this book and read it. That's a heavy burden, my friend, compared to the low low cover price. I'm just saying."

“There’s a lot to like here . . . a nice dust jacket with a photo on the back inside flap with the author in his own corduroy dust jacket, posing for the camera. He looks pretty serious, like he’s mad or horny. The pages, when you have the book closed, are rugged and uneven, kind of giving it an old, rustic look (but the book is new, though, so—). The paper is nice. So I’d say the book is probably pretty good, too. The writing, I mean; the story that’s in it. I’d probably buy one from the store if they didn’t send it to me for free.”

“When the first line is “Nonplussed, the denizens gazed wistfully upon the nondescript regalia and joined in the cacophony of hearts” there is no need to read the rest to know this is an important book by a purely original mind.”

“Any book that leaves your lips bleeding, your balls aching, and your crotch burning like something out of a Nat King Cole Christmas song is worth the price of admission. A band-aid or an ice pack would make a clever freebie, though. Or even some ointment.”

“An instant classic the likes of which have not been seen since Moby Dick or even Confederacy of Dunces.”

“Superb. Delicious. A little tough in areas, but definitely lean and satisfying. Lots to chew on. Tantalizing for the developed palate. Keep a big bottle of sauce at hand and make sure your steak knife is sharp! It's difficult, but try not to eat it too quickly; your bowels will not handle it well if at all.”

“A rowdy, raucous time . . . woke the neighbors . . . police were called . . . two nights in jail . . . helluva time . . . a coloring book and so much more!”


Matt Bell said...

You really should write a bunch of these and send them to McSweeney's Internet Tendency. Seems like the sort of thing they'd publish...

Molly Gaudry said...

I think Matt's on to something. These are great!

Crispin Best said...

everyone agrees then

“There’s a lot to like here . . ." was my favourite

Josh Maday said...

Thanks, Matt, Molly, and Crispin. Now that you say it, McSweeney's seems obvious for the book blurbs. Good call.