Saturday, May 3, 2008

The Story of Ernest Hatcher, American Inventor

He approached me one day and said, Hello, my name is Ernest Hatcher.

I looked at him, my eyes opened wide, and choked a little on my coffee. The Ernest Hatcher?

Yes, he said, smiling and looking amazed. You've heard of me?

I have no idea who you are.

Ernest Hatcher turned out to be a rather serious guy. He was an aspiring inventor. He hadn't invented anything yet, but he thought a lot about how great it would be to invent something.

You're just in it for the money, I said.

No, no, I genuinely love inventing things and making people's lives better and more interesting.

That's admirable, I said. So what kinds of things do you invent?

Well, I've drawn up detailed plans for a machine that converts hatred into combustible fuel. Also, a membrane which, when placed over one's face, turns every idle and empty word one says or hears into a profound truth. Then there's the self-cleaning underwear that can be worn on any part of the body.

I told him that I happened to know some people who like to invest in new ideas and new inventions. Can you come up with a presentation for that underwear by tomorrow?

Yes, I can do a demonstration right now.

Excellent. I shook his hand. With gamers, campers, bachelors, travelers, sports fans, party animals, the bedridden, astronauts, lazy slobs, and husbands, the market is overripe for this revolutionary, life-changing product.

Ernest Hatcher, your idea is going to change the world.


Julia said...

Looks like Ernest in going into "Low Tech Soft Wear" (Underwear and socks)

Josh Maday said...

Ha, that's excellent, julia.