Anyway, here's the thing:
I am working on a project called I WILL SMASH YOU with filmmakers, Luca Dipierro and Rachel Bradley, and we would like to film you smashing (or destroying in some other way) an object that has some kind of personal meaning for you.
The object can be anything.
The reason you want to smash the object can be anything (positive, negative ambivalent, etc.).
If you would like us to film you doing this, then please write back to me and tell me your name, your age, the object you would like to smash, and why (in 100 words or fewer) you would like to smash that particular object.
You must live in the Baltimore area or be willing to travel to Baltimore. We are planning on filming March 29 and 30.
Finally, please understand that you are being offered an opportunity that you may never again be offered. If you don't do this, you may regret it for the rest of your life.
P.S. Your partners, spouses, children, and bffs are included in this invitation.
P.P.S. Please feel free to forward this to anybody who you think might be particularly interested.
P.P.P.S. You will have to sign a release form.
Go. Feel better. Smash something.