Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Name Drop

[Editor's note: A skeleton key can be found in James Joyce's Ulysses (pp. 290-291), or in the reading of Finnegans Wake. But not the phone book.]

"I made a list of people . . ."

--Muhammad Yunus



"When I need names they drop out of my head . . ."

--Imogen Cunningham



"Names were not so much dropped as thrown in a perpetual game of catch."

--Robert Morley



"Names, once they are in common use, quickly become mere sounds . . ."

--Salman Rushdie



". . . individual names are also sometimes useful as gauges . . ."

--Edward Sapir



"Let us suppose that to any extent you please you can learn things through the medium of names . . ."

--Plato



". . . the effects of a network and the play of a syntax."

--Jacques Derrida



". . . frame . . ."

--Michael Martone



I

Adam Eve Josephine Baker Tina Turner Bono Saint Michael Moore Myers Martone Jackson Scott Jordan Geist McCormack Barrish Kors Wesch Schwarz Berube Connelly Muller Buble Manring Bolton Hampton Schumacher Martine Howard McDonald Burstein Franks Caine Kordahi Chabon Vick Ondaatje Sneed Yon Ernst Schenker Brecker Savage Sippey King George Bush Washington Clooney Schlossnagle Carlin Orwell Curious Harrison Mason Soros Strait Gershwin Lakoff Thorogood Saunders Lopez Santayana Legrady Pelecanos Marshall Sand Handel Eliot Berkeley Clinton Hilary Rodham Chelsea Bill Cosby Engvall Rhonda Byrne J.K. Rowling Harry Potter Stephen King J.R.R. Tolkien George Lucas Luke Skywalker Darth Vader Maul Yoda Chewbacca

II

Khaled Hosseini Eugene O'Neill Shaquille O'Neal Kobe Bryant Michael Vick Barry Bonds Babe Ruth Hank Aaron Alex Rodriguez Gabriel Garcia Marquez Jose Saramago Jorge Luis Borges Stanislaw Lem J.G. Ballard Jean Baudrillard Sylvère Lotringer Roland Barthes Gilles Deleuze Jacques Derrida Theodor Adorno Albert Einstein George Bernard Shaw Aeschylus Charles Simic Ted Kooser Lydia Davis Paul Auster David Foster Wallace Kurt Vonnegut Joseph Heller Philip Roth Saul Bellow Cormac McCarthy Joseph McCarthy Jenny McCarthy Anna Nicole Smith Donald Trump David Letterman Richard Gere Tom Cruise L. Ron Hubbard Katie Holmes John Holmes Peter North Henry Ford Ron Jeremy Elvis Presley Anna Marie Presley Johnny Cash June Carter Stan Carter Joe Carter Dale Carnegie Yoko Ono John Lennon Vladimir Lenin Nabokov Leo Tolstoy Tolstoi Fyodor Dostoevsky Dostoyevsky Mikhail Bulgakov Victor Pelevin Michel Houellebecq Louis Ferdinand Celine Paul Valery Stephane Mallarme Philippe Sollers Susan Sontag Marshall McLuhan Paul Virilio Henri Matisse Robert Olen Butler Charles D'Ambrosio Samuel Beckett Colm Toibin John Banville Richard Powers Nathaniel Benchley Peter Benchley Oliver North Colin Powell Condoleeza Rice Scooter Libby Dick Cheney Marshall Mathers Marilyn Manson Marilyn Monroe Charles Manson Sam Shepard Tony Kushner Oprah Winfrey Jerry Springer Benjamin Franklin Abraham Lincoln Richard Nixon Lyndon Johnson Thomas Jefferson Bach Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart Chopin Vivaldi Grieg Schubert Strauss Lizst Tchiakovsky Beethoven Stravinsky Wagner Debussy Jean-François Lyotard Fredric Jameson

III

Jay Leno Conan O'Brien Karl Rove Jeb Bush Rudy Giuliani Barack Obama Richard Ramirez John Wayne Gacy David Berkowitz Jeffrey Dahmer Alfred Nobel Guggenheim Jackson Pollock Ed Harris Klimt Kandinsky Pablo Picasso Ernest Hemingway Muriel Hemingway F. Scott Fitzgerald Ezra Pound T.S. Eliot John Dos Passos James Joyce Gertrude Stein Sherwood Anderson William Faulkner Shelby Foote Carl Sandburg Theodore Roethke William Carlos Williams Wallace Stevens Nathaniel Mackey Thylias Moss Rachel Blau DuPlessis David Shields David Means T.C. Boyle Goethe Raymond Carver John Gardner John Cheever John Vande Zande Jeff Vande Zande J.D. Riso Francis Ponge Francis Bacon George Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel Friedrich Nietzsche Arthur Schopenhauer Baruch Spinoza Claude Levi Strauss Leo Strauss Alan Bloom Francis Fukuyama Plato Socrates Heraclitus Walter Kaufmann Marcus Aurelius Charles Dickens Wilkie Collins Edith Wharton Willa Cather Mark Twain Samuel Clemens Stendhal Saki H.H. Munro Lewis Carroll Charles Lutwidge Dodgson Eric Blair Ander Monson Aimee Bender Etgar Keret Tod Goldberg Chuck Palahniuk Jonathan Lethem Dennis Cooper Elizabeth Ellen Cory Doctorow Colson Whitehead Chad Simpson Rachel Zucker Magdalen Powers Matt Kirkpatrick Anne Elliott Austin Kleon Craig Snyder Stephen Elliott Jonathan Ames Scott Snyder Andrew Sean Greer Brian Evenson Jennifer Egan Dan Wickett Steven Gillis Dave Clapper Kathy Fish Katrina Denza Avital Gad-Cykman Joseph Young Randall Brown Myfanwy Collins Ellen Meister Matt Bell John Steinbeck Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn Emile Zola Karl Marx Adam Smith John Maynard Keynes Emile Durkheim Sigmund Freud Carl Jung Gustave Flaubert Jean Genet Rob Roberge Edward Albee Bill Shakespeare Harold Bloom Aldous Huxley Thomas Henry Huxley Charles Darwin Richard Dawkins Carl Sagan Stephen Hawking Herbert Marcuse Jose Ortega Y Gasset Jean Paul Sartre Albert Camus James Dean Princess Di Grace Kelley Louis Althusser Soren Kierkegaard Gordon Marino Alastair MacIntyre Alastair McKinnon Peter Singer Aristotle Onassis John F. Kennedy Robert Kennedy Sid Vicious Joey Ramone Jack White Meg Ryan Tom Hanks Jack Black Keanu Reeves Beyonce Knowles Britney Spears Christina Aguilera Janet Jackson Madonna Kelly Clarkson Clay Aiken Dan Rather Katie Couric Stone Phillips Peter Jennings Daniel Pearl Nick Berg Nick Hornby Eric Spitznagel Whitney Pastorek Aaron Burch John Updike Norman Mailer Isaac Babel Joseph Conrad Francis Ford Coppola Martin Sheen Marlon Brando Al Pacino Robert DeNiro Robin Williams Ray Liotta Denis Johnson John Barth Robert Coover William H. Gass Laurence Sterne Thomas Pynchon Italo Calvino Chaucer Cervantes Robert Louis Stevenson Henry James William James Ralph Waldo Emerson Herman Melville Nathaniel Hawthorne Walt Whitman ee cummings Henry David Thoreau John Brown Harriet Beecher Stowe W.E.B. DuBois Langston Hughes Richard Wright Frederick Douglass Ralph Ellison Jack Kerouac Allen Ginsburg Paul McCartney Ringo Starr

IV

Jim Morrison Jimi Hendrix Michael Hutchence Janis Joplin Layne Staley Shannon Hoon Bon Scott Kurt Cobain John Bonham Karen Carpenter Buddy Holly Jim Croce John Denver Sonny Bono Cher Elvis Presley Guy Debord Walter Benjamin Sylvia Plath

V

Thomas Pynchon Paris Hilton Blake Butler Tao Lin Patrick Swayze Keanu Reeves Jennifer Lopez Hugh Grant Trent Reznor Brian Warner Howard Hughes Hugh Hefner Jesus Buddha Krishna Yahweh Copernicus Dante Alighieri John Milton John Donne Thomas A Kempis Alvin Plantinga Isaac Newton Leibniz Rene Descartes John Dewey Bertrand Russell Willard Van Orman Quine Suze Orman Alfred North Whitehead Ludwig Wittgenstein Saul Kripke Will Smith Bernie Mack Jackie Chan Malcolm Gladwell David Sedaris Lance Olsen Michael Cunningham Gene Hackman Chris Tucker Jet Li Bruce Lee Chuck Norris David Carradine Leonardo DaVinci Michelangelo Pericles Homer Simpson Papa Smurf G.I. Joe Barbie Ken Paris Hilton James Patterson Nora Roberts Danielle Steele Mary Higgins Clark Sandra Brown Robin Cook Michael Crighton Sidney Sheldon Martha Stewart Charles Simonyi Rob Zombie Dee Snyder Edward Sapir Benjamin Lee Whorf Edgar Lee Masters Dan Brown James Frey Jonathan Franzen JT Leroy Dr. Seuss Eminem Arnold Schwarzenegger Johnny Depp Brad Pitt Dan Rather Walter Matthau Jack Lemon Lucille Ball Don Delillo Satam M.A. Al Suqami Lee R. Raymond Waleed M. Alshehri David J. O'Reilly Wail M. Alshehri Abdulaziz Alomari Ted Turner Mohammed Atta Bill Gates Julius Caesar Judas Iscariot Pontius Pilate John Wilkes Booth Franz Kafka

VI

Walter Benjamin Antonin Artaud Martin Heidegger Alain Badiou Jacques Ranciere Miranda July Grace Paley Margaret Atwood Alice Munro Kelly Link Stacey Richter Betty Friedan Andrea Dworkin Simone de Beauvoir Virginia Woolf Slavoj Zizek Jacques Lacan Alan Sokal Dave Eggers Benjamin Kunkel Marco Roth Heidi Julavits Jhumpa Lahiri Marisha Pessl William T. Vollmann Gary Amdahl John Kennedy Toole Donald Barthelme Ben Marcus Mairéad Byrne Michael Martone Michael Martone Michael Martone Michael Martone Michael Martone Michael Martone Michael Martone Michael Martone Michael Martone Michael Martone Michael Martone Michael Martone Michael Martone Michael Martone Michael Martone Ryan Seacrest Fergie Shakira Dick Clark Hillary Duff Sean Kingston Justin Timberlake Nick Lachey Kanye West Rihanna Bon Jovi Avril Lavigne Kenny Chesney R. Kelly Usher Linkin Park Pink Bob Marley Louis Armstrong Clifford Brown Doc Cheatham John Coltrane Miles Davis Tommy Dorsey Ella Fitzgerald Woody Herman Earl Hines Branford Marsalis Charlie Parker Bud Powell Artie Shaw Art Tatum Fats Waller Lester Young Johnny Carson Ed McMahon Merv Griffin Vanna White Pat Sajak Alex Trebek Joan Rivers River Phoenix Jean Jacques Rousseau Maximilien Robespierre Jean Paul Marat Marquis de Sade Samuel Taylor Coleridge David Leavitt Arthur Rimbaud Rachel Ray Walt Disney Charles Schultz

VII

Abraham Isaac Jacob Judah Perez Zerah Tamar Hezron Ram Amminadab Nahshon Salmon Boaz Rahab Obed Ruth Jesse David Solomon Rehoboam Abijah Asa Jehoshaphat Joram Uzziah Jotham Ahaz Hezekiah Manasseh Amon Josiah Jeconiah Shealtiel Zerubbabel Abiud Eliakim Azor Zadok Achim Eliud Eleazar Matthan Jacob Joseph Jesus

VIII

Don Delillo Jose Saramago Saul Kripke Andre Aciman Umberto Eco Orhan Pamuk Chaim Potok Amin Maalouf Yehuda Berg Wilkie Collins Joe Coomer Roy Feinson Pierre Le Rouzic Norman Lebrecht Franklin Graham Sanora Babb Lawrence R. Rodgers James Baldwin Julia Alvarez Vendela Vida Alex W. Bealer Kristina Rodanas Toadex Hobogrammathon Samuel Beckett

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Show NewPages Some Love

Hey, you read NewPages, right? Yeah, we all do. Denise and Casey do a kick-ass job bringing us the latest and greatest info about all things literary: the great literary magazines, AWP, and now the MFA programs, and who knows what else in the future. That's pretty much indisputable. Sure, NewPages is a labor of love for them, but it still requires money to make it happen, unfortunately. So go over to the NewPages blog and click on the pint of beer in the upper right hand corner. Buy Denise a round or three, and show NewPages some love.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Watch Guy Debord's Society of the Spectacle at Ubu Web

UbuWeb is an amazing resource for all forms of avant-garde art and philosophy. It'll take days, maybe even weeks, to get through the huge archive available there, and all for free. Among this stockpile is a collection of films by Guy Debord, including the film manifestation of his social theory in Society of the Spectacle. And you know a film of this nature is good when it's not work safe. Seriously, it's not. Check it out. Check it all out.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

What Does it Mean?

I used a copy of Jacques Derrida's Dissemination to wave a fart out of my airspace today.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

CM Evans's "The Story of Paul Bunyan"

Besides being clever and humorous, CM Evans's "The Story of Paul Bunyan" deftly shows the coiled coitus of history and myth. The label for the post, "Historical Facts", finishes this piece off perfectly, carrying the punch of a second last line. While you're there, check out the rest of Mr. Evans's fiction and poetry. And don't forget the cartoons - my god, the cartoons!

Evans also has an excellent piece published on Opium's front page. Check it out.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

"Gallery of the Absurd" Joins DotComedy

Gallery of the Absurd, easily one of my favorite blogs for a long time now, has joined DotComedy in order to lampoon our obsession with all things celebrity for a much wider audience, if that's possible. Huge congratulations to 14, the brilliant artist behind "Gallery of the Absurd."

Read the press release here, and then be sure to wander around the "Gallery."

Monday, August 13, 2007

Random Thought

Philosophy is some of the greatest fiction ever written.

Arbiter Says: New Lit Mag Reviews at NewPages

Yes, the latest batch of reviews is live at NewPages. Go read them. Then pick three magazines and go read those. Like a scavenger hunt, see? Except everybody wins and the prize is immeasurable.

Five (Probably Unjust) Distillates of the Thought of Roland Barthes

"To try to write love is to confront the muck of language: that region of hysteria where language is both too much and too little, excessive and impoverished."

"A photograph is always invisible, it is not it that we see."

"Language is a skin: I rub my language against the other. It is as if I had words instead of fingers, or fingers at the tip of my words. My language trembles with desire."

"Literature is the question minus the answer."

"What I claim is to live to the full the contradiction of my time, which may well make sarcasm the condition of truth."

--Roland Barthes

Friday, August 10, 2007

Exciting New Feature: Arbiter Says

Well, I have a blog now, so that means I get to tell you all what you ought to be reading, listening to, and watching. Maybe even how you should take your coffee (hot and black, never ever ever iced or milked. Because The Arbiter says so). Also, be sure to get vaccinated, get your pets and your kids vaccinated, too, against the dangers of life. And take out the trash.

I think we're going to be very happy with this little arrangement.

Arbiter says: read. Read Conjunctions:48, especially Will Self's story "Any Shape, Any Size" where Greg ends up sitting in his apartment surrounded by foam replicas of what his life once had been, from his friends to his furniture; and then there's Jonathan Lethem's thorough mash-up of the texts of great car crash literature, "Always Crashing in the Same Car", plus new work by Joyce Carol Oates, Mary Gaitskill, David Shields, Aimee Bender, Robert Olen Butler, Cole Swenson, John D'Agata, Siri Hustvedt, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Rikki Ducornet, Brian Evenson, etc, etc. Just read it. Better yet, subscribe so The Arbiter doesn't have to preach so much.

While you're waiting for your first issue of Conjunctions to arrive, click over and read some work by any of the writers linked under "And the Others". Do this now.

[end]

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Work in The Shantytown Anomaly Wins 2007 Rhysling Award

Congratulations to Rich Ristow, whose poem "The Graven Idol's Godheart" from The Shantytown Anomaly #2 recently won the Rhysling Award in the short poem category. The Rhysling is awarded by the Science Fiction Poetry Association. Past winners include sci-fi greats like Ursula K. Le Guin, Bruce Boston, Theodora Goss, and many others. Congrats to Rich and to The Shantytown Anomaly editor J. Bruce Fuller for this huge honor.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Read Something I've Written, And Like It

Lately I've had work published online at Johnny America, Haggard and Halloo, Right Hand Pointing, Static Movement, and Dark Sky Magazine, among others.

My short-short story "Spending Time With Dad While Waiting for the Apocalypse on CNN" is in the latest issue (The Power Issue) of the smart, beautiful, and all-around sexy Rivet Magazine.

Two of my flash fictions are forthcoming in the Fall issue of NANO Fiction, an excellent magazine out of the University of Houston. Last I heard they're still looking for work under 300 words, so send them the greatest string of words you've ever written. While you're there checking the guidelines, be sure to read this haunting Cormac McCarthy-esque piece entitled "The Way the Ruin Came" by Blake Butler.

Friday, August 3, 2007

Existence Official

Welcome to my electronic epicenter. I should have done this a long time ago. But I did not. And now it is done. In the words of Pinocchio, I am real now. More soon. Thank you for looking.